Showing posts with label child abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label child abuse. Show all posts

Friday, October 25, 2013

La Bella Mafia - Morgan St. James & Dennis N. Griffin, Authors

Honey Bun Cake
(A Bella Favorite)

1 pkg. Super Moist butter recipe yellow cake mix
2 sticks of butter (1 cup) softened
4 eggs
1 container (8 oz.) sour cream
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/3 cup chopped pecans
2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1 cup powdered sugar
1 Tbsp. milk
1 tsp. vanilla

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Generously grease bottom only of 13 x 9 pan, or spray with non-stick spray.  Remove 1/2 cup of dry cake mix and set aside.  Beat remaining dry cake mix, butter, eggs and sour cream in large bowl on medium speed 2 minutes, scraping bowl occasionally.  Spread half batter in pan.  Stir together reserved dry cake mix, brown sugar, pecans and cinnamon.  Sprinkle over batter in pan.  Carefully spread remaining batter over pecan mixture (to make spreading easier, drop batter by dollops over pecan mixture then spread).  Bake 30-33 minutes or until deep golden brown and cake springs back when touched lightly in center.  Stir powdered sugar, milk and vanilla until thin enough to drizzle (stirring in additional milk, 1 tsp. at a time if necessary).  Poke top of warm cake several times with fork and spread glaze over top of cake.  Cool completely and store covered.
 
La Bella Mafia – Review by Martha A. Cheves, Author of Stir, Laugh, Repeat; Think With Your Taste Buds; A Book and A Dish



I was old enough to want to try to figure out how I became the person I was.  I felt a need to locate people who had known me when I was little.  I was able to find one of the social workers who worked with my whole family when I was small.  I stayed with that woman for a week, went places wither family, ate dinner with them and learned a lot about those early years.  She was wonderfully frank about answering every question I asked her. 

I wanted to know how she saw me as a child.  Imagine my shock when she said, “I saw you as a little girl who could poison her parents’ coffee and walk away like nothing happened.

Bella was four when the abuse really took hold of her life.  Her mother was an addict, her father had ‘connection’ and got his enjoyment by getting drunk and beating her mother and older brother.  Her brother got his kicks by beating her and later abusing her sexually.  And after he mother went into rehab her father decided she would become his punching bag.  But Bella didn’t give up nor give in to any of her life of hell.  It was the only way of life she had ever known so it became ‘normal’ to her.  So when she started cutting school, drinking and doing drugs she was doing what was normal.  But when the beatings got worse she had no choice but to turn herself in to social services for protection, several times.  That venue out was sometimes good and sometimes bad.  She was tossed from foster homes that didn’t care, to one that really did to a group home that she found to be more of a cult than a real home for her and the others living there.

With all of the beatings as a child as well as an adult, it’s a miracle that Bella survived.  Her determination, with the help of God, kept her from committing suicide many times. It gave her the courage to live next door to the park that was practically owned by a gang known as the Crips.   It gave her the strength to stand up to her husband, take her four daughters and leave everything she knew and loved and start over while burying herself in hiding.  But most importantly, it gave her the knowledge and desire to help others who have been through her trials in life and are on the verge of giving up. 

I can’t help but be amazed by this woman whom I see as being terribly strong but I also see her as one that can never let her mental guard down for fear of slipping.  There are few women, or men, in this world that I truly admire.  Most people never acquire the strength to fight back and keep going while living through what Bella has endured her whole life.  Most give up and give in, eventually destroying what is left both inside and out.  But not Bella.  This book is one that everyone, male and female, should not only read but listen to what you’re reading.  While reading I ran across what I believe to be the perfect closing for my review.  This is Bella’s purpose in life and I can’t help but feel proud to say that I’ve read her story and felt her pain, as much as possible, without going through this with her.   This is priceless.

“When your reality is a living Hell, you actually do believe you did something wrong and that’s why you’re there.  The first time I sat in a  therapist’s chair I didn’t feel like I deserved to be there.  Of course, I have come leaps and bounds from that time and now I pour out my soul every day in the hope my message will reach even one girl who feels the way I did.  If that happens, it will spare her some of the torment of finding her way.  That’s how LaBella Mafia began.  Most of the Bellas are women I touched who had experienced what I did and worse.  We’ve bonded to help each other.  It is never really over, but it can get better.” -  Bella

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Means to an End - Elizabeth Romero, Author

 
The word  lagniappe is a Louisiana term which means a small extra gift. This recipe is my lagniappe to you. Hope you enjoy this Cajun favorite - Elizabeth Romero
SHRIMP AND CRAB GUMBO INGREDIENTS AND TOOLS
  • One 4 QUART OR LARGER HEAVY BOTTOM POT
  • One MED SKILLET
  • 2 pounds shrimp peeled and deveined
  • 1/2 pound small peeled shrimp
  • 2 cups lump crab meat
  • 1/2 cup oil
  • 2 tablespoons self rising flour
  • 2 quarts chicken or seafood stock
  • 2 large onions diced
  • 1 small head of garlic minced
  • 1 large bell pepper diced ribs removed
  • 1 rib of celery diced
  • 2 pounds of sliced okra fresh or frozen
  • I can Rotel tomatoes mild or spicy as you like
  • 1 bay leaf
  • 2 tablespoons file’
  • Tony Chachere’s seasoning to taste I add a tablespoon and then re-season when finished if I need more
  • 1 cup chopped parsley
  • cooked rice enough for at least one cup of cooked rice per person ( maybe more if you are Cajun)
  1. Place enough oil to season in the bottom of heavy pan.. add okra and cook on medium stir as necessary to keep from sticking..cook until sliminess is not visible Do not burn
  2. Add remaining vegetables and stir well continue sautéing until slightly brown
  3. Add seasonings ,bay leaf and stock
  4. Stir and scrape all bits from the bottom of the pan
  5. Add the small shrimp these will incorporate into the broth and disappear but give the strong seafood flavor needed cook for about one hour on medium ..while this is cooking do step 6
  6. Put remaining oil in a skillet bring to medium heat add the flour stir constantly until it is the color of peanut butter remove from heat immediately This is called roux
  7. Allow the roux cool off until the oil separates then remove the excess oil
  8. Spoon roux into the pot with the stock and other ingredients this will foam a bit but don’t worry cook on med high watching closely until foam subsides
  9. Add shrimp and cook on med /low for another ½ hour then add crab and cook for another 15 minutes
  10. Taste for seasoning and add to taste
  11. Add parsley and stir gently
  12. Place a scoop of rice in a bowl and ladle gumbo over rice
Enjoy!!
Footnote: Some say you can’t do Gumbo with roux and okra. Well my family did and after you try this you will agree. If you have questions go to my email…elizabethromerobooks@yahoo.com
 
Means to an End - Review by Martha A. Cheves, Author of Stir, Laugh, Repeat; Think With Your Taste Buds; A Book and A Dish
 
Just as she was wrapping it around her, her stepfather appeared there in the doorway.  She almost screamed because he startled her so.  He had seen her naked before but not this way, only when he would sneak into her room in the dark.  She slapped her hand to her mouth to keep from crying out as he slowly leaned back on the door that separated her form the hall.  "What...what are you doing in here?  Momma will hear you," she said.  "That ole cow won't hear a thing.  She done took a couple of her little pills and she is snoring up a storm.  It is just you and me. "  She suddenly realized that he was cold sober.  She tried to reach for the doorknob, but he caught her arm.  He was scary when he wad drunk but not as quick.  Somehow this was different, and it was worse knowing he was in complete control now.  He pulled her near him and said, "You know we could be good friends if you weren't so uppity.  I've been feeding the three of you since me and your momma came to Carolina.  I reason you owe me a good time once in a while."
Ashby, her twin brother Danny and her mother Marie Boudreaux were sent to their own living hell when Ashby's grandfather sent her mother off to marry, not the twin's father, but Garrett Devereaux when he found she was pregnant with the twins.  He made them leave New Orleans and sent them to a rundown home with forty acres of land that he had won in a horse race many years before.  And he did this just to save face in the community. 
Garrett, who required Ashby and Danny to call him Poppa, were in for the abuse that only a monster like Garrett could inflict.  His hobby seemed to be getting drunk and then giving the kids and their mother a good beating.  Danny finally had enough and ran away, Ashby assumed to New Orleans so she was left to protect herself.  Her mother, who should have taken steps to keep her children safe spent most of her time popping pills and sleeping.  So now at the age of 17 Garrett has added another abuse to his list...  Sexual.   
Following Ashby as she deals with not just Garrett but also the 'popular girls' at school who added their own abuse through calling her names and passing rumors, gave me a feeling of heartbreak and pain that a child like Ashby must go through just to survive.  From what happens to Garrett to Ashby's chance of escape I had a hard time not reading just one more page and then just one more page in hopes that she would find some relief in her life.  The events that take place through her survival makes this one of the most unforgettable books I've read in some time and I'm happy to say that there are at least 2 more books that will allow me to spend even more time with Ashby and her life.

Friday, June 29, 2012

The Stovepipe - Bonnie E. Virag, Author


FishTacos with Mango Salsa and Cilantro Lime Sauce
(A Bonnie Favorite)

Ingredients
1 lb. flaky white fish, such as halibut, tilapia, sole, or snapper (we used Amberjack)
4 Tbsp. fresh lime juice
2 Tbsp. vegetable oil
2 Tbsp. soy sauce
10 to 12 corn tortillas
3 cups shredded cabbage

For Lime Sauce:
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
1/2 cup low-fat yogurt
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1 chipotle chile in adobo sauce, finely chopped
1 garlic clove, finely chopped or pressed
Salt

For Mango Salsa:
1 bell pepper (red, yellow, and/or orange), deseeded and chopped into 1/4-inchsquares
1/2 small red onion, finely chopped
1 jalapeno pepper, deseeded and diced
2 just-ripe mangoes, peeled and chopped into 1/2-inch square chunks
1 handful cilantro, washed, dried, destemmed, and chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
Juice of 1 lime
Salt to taste

Directions
Prepare the fish marinade by combining the fresh lime juice with the vegetableoil and soy sauce in a rectangular glass or ceramic dish. Add the fish, turn tocoat, and leave to marinate while you prepare the rest of the ingredients.
Prepare the chipotle-lime sauce bycombining the mayonnaise, yogurt, lime juice, chipotle chile, and chopped garlic in a bowl. Season to taste with salt.
Prepare mango salsa by mixing all ingredients together in a medium-large bowl and season to taste with salt.
Remove fish from the marinade and grill or saute until cooked through. Warm the tortillas, either in the oven, microwave, or saute in oil. Set out individual bowls of the sauce, salsa, and shredded cabbage.
For each individual taco, place someof the fish (breaking off chunks of the cooked fillets) on a tortilla, drizzle with the chipotle-lime sauce, and top with cabbage and mango salsa.

The Stovepipe – Review by Martha A. Cheves, Author of Stir, Laugh, Repeat; A Book and A Dish; Think With Your Taste Buds

…we saw a large, black automobile drive into our lane.  It pulled slowly into the backyard and stopped beside the house where we were playing.  We all stood frozen.  In a poor rural area, it was rare to see an automobile on the road, let alone have one pull into our own yard.  Muggs must have know it meant trouble, for she quickly opened the cellar door and herded us all inside.  But it was too late, for she had been spotted.  No sooner had the door been slammed shut than it was flung open, exposing my sisters and me as we huddled fearfully inside.  “Come out,” a man said as he tugged on our arms, pulling us out one by one.  As we hurried to Muggs’ side, the man said, “We’d like to speak with your mother.”  Muggs shook her head.  “I’m sorry, but she ain’t home right now.”   At that, without saying another word, he and a woman who had come with him grabbed my sisters and me and pushed us, kicking and screaming, into the backseat of the car.  They then rounded up Bobby and shoved him in beside us.

Bonnie Virag was one of 2 sets of twins birthed by her mother Flossie Bell Mudford.  Flossie Bell had a total of 18 children of which Bonnie can remembered 14 counting herself.  By the time Bonnie and her twin sister Betty, her twin sisters Jean and Joan and her brother Bobby were taken from the home 6 of the older children had already left.  Most of the girls’ care was provided by one of her older sisters, Margaret which they fondly called Muggs.  But due to Muggs being a child herself, Children’s Service felt they had no choice but to take the younger ones from the home, leaving them all feeling lost and alone.

When I started reading The Stovepipe, I had just finished another autobiography by a lady who, along with her siblings, had been placed in an orphanage.  The trials and mistreatment they went through was heartbreaking.  I truly thought that children placed in foster homes had to be better.  That isn’t necessarily true.  Bonnie and her siblings ended up on a Tobacco farm and put to work as if they were mere slaves.  They were housed in the attic and not allowed to come into the house except to go to their rooms.  Meals were served after the family had finished eating and heating in their attic rooms consisted of The Stovepipe that ran up through the ceiling.  Their living conditions, mistreatment by the family members, their lack of love and even their simplest needs were non-existing.  It really took some strong willed individuals to survive what these children were forced to suffer through.

As I read The Stovepipe, I grew to admire Bonnie and her siblings.  She is a woman I would love to sit down with and simply listen to as she tells stories of her childhood.  Some of the stories within her autobiography would have been funny had the consequences for their actions not been so severe.  I couldn’t help but laugh when I read about the yard being covered with paper the girls had hidden within the rafters and uncovered when the roofers started work.  But I wanted to cry when the foster family punished them for their innocent deed. 

I can only hope and pray that things have changed since Bonnie and her siblings were brought up in the system of foster care.  No child should ever be inflicted with excessive pain and sorrow, especially after the a child has already been hurt by the loss of their own family or the lack of ever knowing one.  These children should be treated as the special people they really are. 

The Stovepipe is a book that EVERY parent should read and hopefully stress to their own children, the heartbreak of being in the system.  Bonnie and her sisters should be very proud of themselves for being survivors and not allowing their experiences to weaken them but to make them stronger and better people.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Nick, of Time - J. A. Carlton, Author


Butternut Squash Soup *Vegetarian friendly*
(A J. A. Carlton Favorite)

1 medium sized butternut squash peeled and cubed
4 cups chicken or vegetable broth
1 good sized yellow or sweet onion finely chopped
2 tbsp olive oil
1/2 tsp salt and 1/4 tsp pepper

Saute chopped onion for approximately 4 minutes in olive oil, until onion is transparent.

Add Chicken or Vegetable broth.
Add butternut squash cubes, salt and pepper
Boil until soft.
Puree butternut squash until smooth, return to broth and stir in until well blended.

If your diet permits serve with a garnish of fresh parsley and Romano or Parmesan cheese. Makes 4-5 servings can be served hot or cold. If diet permits, can be thickened with 1 8 oz tub of whipped cream cheese for those really cold winter nights.



Nick, of Time - Review by Martha A. Cheves, Author of Stir, Laugh, Repeat and Think With Your Taste Buds 


“…please, won’t somebody help me?” his voice barely touched the darkened space while he did his very best to hold back the fear that always came when he was alone. Frank Emerson didn’t want to cry, he didn’t like to cry; and even if Nick said it was okay sometimes, he never cried without good reason – and there was nothing more that Frankie wanted than to be like his big brother. But Nick never got thrown into a smelly, old dumpster either. It wouldn’t have been so
bad if it’d been the one by the main doors of the Robert Townsend Elementary School. That was where they threw out the papers and dittos and stuff, so it wasn’t so bad in there. But for some reason, Tommy Haywood and Bruce Evans always made sure to toss him into the one behind the lunch room, into stinky old piles of half-rotted food and gross stuff from snotty pasta to curdled milk. And sometimes there was stuff he really didn’t want to think about, stuff that was mixed in with the saw dust Harry used to clean up when someone got sick.’



Nick, of Time
introduces the reader to two young brothers who, when we first meet them, are deep into the task of navigating life with an absentee parent while surrounded by playground bullies and their mom's creepy boyfriend. There's nothing Nick wouldn't do to care for and protect his little brother, including running interference to keep that creepy boyfriend away from Frank.



As if tending their daily trials and needs weren't enough, one day a friend, in the guise of the school janitor threatens to expose the shame Nick keeps buried from his brother all while revealing a destiny that any adult would find more than a little daunting. Nick and Frank were born from an ancient line of heroes who once saved the world of light and all its inhabitants from the clutches of the malevolent Living Dark and its sinister minions, the Schades. Once again,
the world of light is in danger, and these two young boys must embrace their destinies as one, to save it and all they hold dear.


Throughout the series the recurring theme is family, friendship, and the power of love to heal and overcome any hurt. There are also occasional glimpses into how even a small window of abusive behavior can leave scars and pains that echo forward in unfathomable ways. I also want to make you aware that 30% of all the author'sroyalties from Nick, of Time go to the prevention of child abuse through the “Heroes of the Line” campaign. 




 
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