Show Girls and Aliens - Darrell B. Nelson, Author

2:22 PM Posted by Martha A Cheves

 
 
Barbecued Reptile
(A Darrell B. Nelson Special!)


The selection of which reptile to cook is the opposite of all other
meats. With birds and mammals you want herbivores, ones that eat plants
and maybe an insect or two. With reptiles you want Carnivores, meat
eaters. The way to figure out which reptiles are meat eaters is to look
at their hides. The rough scaly skin protects them from their dinner
fighting back, if they have smooth skin they eat insects.

Once you've chosen and butchered your reptile, treat the meat like you
would chicken breasts. Have the barbecue at a lower heat than you would
for steaks and cook for longer. Do this because reptiles (like chicken)
can carry some nasty diseases. Make sure the meat is throughly cooked,
tender to a fork and no pink showing and serve.

Reptile meat has a distinct favor that many people enjoy. Barbecuing
brings out this flavor the best. For the BBQ sauce most people recommend
the smoke and vinegar flavored sauces rather than the tomato flavored
sauces. But your individual taste may vary.
So if you happen to find a Reptile Overlord that has been enslaving
humanity since the dawn of time, throw them on the grill and enjoy a
great picnic.
 
Showgirls and Aliens  - Guest Review by Matthew Morrison
 
Surely, Darrell B. Nelson must have abducted Whitney Strieber, Carl Hiaasen, and Larry Flint together, force fed them lysergic laced pizza for days before recording their collaborative ramblings to produce his next offering: Showgirls and Aliens. Nelson's latest story is a hippie trip of swirling vortices. Who else could combine the black latex logic of 1983's TV series "V", the comical hysteria of aliens run amok found in the first MIB, and a stripper with a heart of gold? Now, add a bouncer with a paladin complex and an ancient bisexual reptilian alien overlord with an ovipositor the size of a Mack truck, and you begin to wonder if the brownie you are munching on tastes a little 'green.' Nelson's imagination streams off the page in multi-colored trailers only to be chased by the chrome gnats of horror from his sophomore effort in the "Vekman Series."
 
PS - Darrell, I found this amusing anecdote shoved on a shelf in a local Florida food co-op next to the homemade brownie mix and the patchouli spritzers.

0 comments:

Post a Comment